Month: July 2005

  • Subject: History Lesson

    Have a history teacher explain this—– if they can.
     
    Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
    John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
     
    Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
    John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
     
    Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
    Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

    Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
    Both Presidents were shot in the head.


    Now it gets really weird

    .
    Lincoln’s secretary was named Kennedy.
    Kennedy’s Secretary was named Lincoln.
     
    Both were assassinated by Southerners.
    Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

    Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
    Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

    John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
    Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
     
    Both assassins were known by their three names.
    Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

     


    Now hang on to your seat.

     


    Lincoln was shot at the theater named ‘Ford.’
    Kennedy was shot in a car called ‘Lincoln’ made by ‘Ford.’


    Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
    Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.


     Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.


     And here’s the kicker…


     A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.
     A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

     

     

    Thought it was interesting…but I’m weird like that.

     

    As always, leave me lots of comments…it’s almost like ya’ll are sleeping out there in Xangaland!!!!!

     

    Loves and AOT,

    –jen

  • In mourning…

    I just finished book six… Can’t stop crying really. For those that have read it can understand why; for those who haven’t, well, pick up a copy. It’s worth a read.

    I can’t believe  that J.K. did that… I was prepared for bad things, but not like this.

    …when does book seven come out?!? I need closure.

  • BLASPHEMY!!!!!

    Alex was looking through his new EGM (a gaming mag,
    for those that don’t know…) and he came across an article that exposes those
    contests that “guarantee” a free gaming system. Alex was curious, so
    he checked it out… This is what we found. 

    **NOTE** We were thoroughly disgusted when we found this,
    but we wanted to share it with you to show that not all people are good. These
    people tarnish the good name of Christian, and use the power of Christ for evil
    and monetary gain. SHAME ON THEM! 


    Kids!  Accept Jesus Christ as Your Lord and Savior
    and Get a Free PlayStation 2!

    This offer is for
    children and teenagers only! It may not be used in conjunction with any other
    Landover Baptist salvation offer.

    Hey kids!  If your Mom and Dad didn’t buy you a PlayStation
    2 for Christmas, you can still get one FOR FREE!  Have you ever heard of Jesus Christ? Well,
    He’s heard of you! And He wants you to have all the cool toys your parents are
    too cheap to buy! In fact, the Lord Jesus is very upset with your parents that
    they didn’t give you all the latest stuff that every kid in America deserves!
    And Jesus has got your back, because He is your homeboy!  If you’ve never heard of Jesus, He is an
    invisible cloud-dwelling deity (infinite lives!) who loves you very much and
    wants nothing more than to give you a free PlayStation 2!

    We here at Landover
    Baptist Church work full-time as servants of Jesus Christ, and He’s told us
    about you and your predicament. He’s also given us special instructions on how
    He wants us to deliver a new PlayStation 2 to your house.  It’s as easy as 1-2-3!  Understand, Jesus cares WAY more about you
    than your parents EVER will!  They will
    never love you as much as Jesus loves you! Always remember that.  If you hate your parents because they didn’t
    get you a PlayStation 2 for Christmas, He completely understands! He is totally
    down with that!  In fact, lucky for you,
    in order to follow Him, you are actually required to hate your parents! 

        “If any man come to me,
    and hate not his father, and mother…he cannot be my disciple.”  - The Lord Jesus Christ   (Luke 14:26)

    Pretty cool, huh? So,
    if you hate your parents, you are already halfway to becoming a True
    Christian™!  Congratulations!

    Here is what you need
    to do to get your free Play Station 2:

        1. 
    Tell Jesus that you hate your parents, and that you’d rather have Him
    for your Daddy.  Ask Him to forgive your
    sins, and cover you with His blood (you’ll see plenty of that splattered across
    your TV when you play your complimentary Grand Theft Auto 3 game!).

        2. 
    Find one of your Mom or Dad’s credit cards (a blank check is even
    better!)

        3. 
    Call our church office and we will provide you with simple instructions
    on how to use your parents’ credit card to charge a love offering over the
    phone. Don’t worry if you can’t find a credit card.  We can teach you how to use one of your
    daddy’s checks to do an automatic draft withdrawal (which will get you free
    shipping and an extra game disk!)

    Please note:  If your parents ask you where you got your
    new PlayStation 2, just tell them that your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ,
    delivered it to you via the U.S. Postal Service in exchange for your soul.

    Still NOT SURE?  Here’s More:

    Landover Baptist’s
    PlayStation 2 comes with a complimentary modified version of the popular disk,
    Tony Hawk’s Underground. You can upload Jesus’ face into the game and
    automatically unlock all of the cheat codes to “God Mode,” so that
    Jesus can win every single level and perform incredible grab-tricks, spins,
    flips and stunts!

    As a new Christian,
    you will want to share the good news of Jesus Christ with as many of your
    “peeps in the hood” as you can. 
    The great thing about Tony Hawk’s Underground is that you can actually
    get off of your skateboard and walk around in the game and talk to other
    skaters about the Plan of Salvation! And if they don’t accept Jesus as their
    Personal Savior, you can kill them later. How cool is that!? 

    In addition, if you
    are interested in Christian computer games, Landover Baptist children use
    Bible-based-maps and characters in Unreal Tournament as part of their Christian
    Soldier training to help Jesus slaughter sinners in the final battle of
    Armageddon (which God willing, will happen during President George W. Bush’s
    second term). Remember to tell your parents to vote for GW in 2004, so that you
    can meet Jesus real soon and thank Him personally for all the cool stuff He is
    going to be sending you through this and other super-cool Landover Baptist Kids
    promotions this year!

    The website can be
    found at http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0104/ps2.html …Check out the
    blasphemy that ensues. I don’t understand how these people can call themselves
    Christians. For those that have kids or siblings that would give into this, you
    may want to talk to them and warn them about tricks like this—they do it for
    many other things as well…(It’s a big “take money from your parents” scam…
    almost as big of a scam as Benny Hinn….)