July 10, 2005

• BLASPHEMY!!!!!

  Alex was looking through his new EGM (a gaming mag,
  for those that don’t know…) and he came across an article that exposes those
  contests that “guarantee” a free gaming system. Alex was curious, so
  he checked it out… This is what we found. 

  **NOTE** We were thoroughly disgusted when we found this,
  but we wanted to share it with you to show that not all people are good. These
  people tarnish the good name of Christian, and use the power of Christ for evil
  and monetary gain. SHAME ON THEM! 
  
  Kids!  Accept Jesus Christ as Your Lord and Savior
  and Get a Free PlayStation 2!

  This offer is for
  children and teenagers only! It may not be used in conjunction with any other
  Landover Baptist salvation offer.

  Hey kids!  If your Mom and Dad didn’t buy you a PlayStation
  2 for Christmas, you can still get one FOR FREE!  Have you ever heard of Jesus Christ? Well,
  He’s heard of you! And He wants you to have all the cool toys your parents are
  too cheap to buy! In fact, the Lord Jesus is very upset with your parents that
  they didn’t give you all the latest stuff that every kid in America deserves!
  And Jesus has got your back, because He is your homeboy!  If you’ve never heard of Jesus, He is an
  invisible cloud-dwelling deity (infinite lives!) who loves you very much and
  wants nothing more than to give you a free PlayStation 2!

  We here at Landover
  Baptist Church work full-time as servants of Jesus Christ, and He’s told us
  about you and your predicament. He’s also given us special instructions on how
  He wants us to deliver a new PlayStation 2 to your house.  It’s as easy as 1-2-3!  Understand, Jesus cares WAY more about you
  than your parents EVER will!  They will
  never love you as much as Jesus loves you! Always remember that.  If you hate your parents because they didn’t
  get you a PlayStation 2 for Christmas, He completely understands! He is totally
  down with that!  In fact, lucky for you,
  in order to follow Him, you are actually required to hate your parents! 

      “If any man come to me,
  and hate not his father, and mother…he cannot be my disciple.”  - The Lord Jesus Christ   (Luke 14:26)

  Pretty cool, huh? So,
  if you hate your parents, you are already halfway to becoming a True
  Christian™!  Congratulations!

  Here is what you need
  to do to get your free Play Station 2:

      1. 
  Tell Jesus that you hate your parents, and that you’d rather have Him
  for your Daddy.  Ask Him to forgive your
  sins, and cover you with His blood (you’ll see plenty of that splattered across
  your TV when you play your complimentary Grand Theft Auto 3 game!).

      2. 
  Find one of your Mom or Dad’s credit cards (a blank check is even
  better!)

      3. 
  Call our church office and we will provide you with simple instructions
  on how to use your parents’ credit card to charge a love offering over the
  phone. Don’t worry if you can’t find a credit card.  We can teach you how to use one of your
  daddy’s checks to do an automatic draft withdrawal (which will get you free
  shipping and an extra game disk!)

  Please note:  If your parents ask you where you got your
  new PlayStation 2, just tell them that your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ,
  delivered it to you via the U.S. Postal Service in exchange for your soul.

  Still NOT SURE?  Here’s More:

  Landover Baptist’s
  PlayStation 2 comes with a complimentary modified version of the popular disk,
  Tony Hawk’s Underground. You can upload Jesus’ face into the game and
  automatically unlock all of the cheat codes to “God Mode,” so that
  Jesus can win every single level and perform incredible grab-tricks, spins,
  flips and stunts!

  As a new Christian,
  you will want to share the good news of Jesus Christ with as many of your
  “peeps in the hood” as you can. 
  The great thing about Tony Hawk’s Underground is that you can actually
  get off of your skateboard and walk around in the game and talk to other
  skaters about the Plan of Salvation! And if they don’t accept Jesus as their
  Personal Savior, you can kill them later. How cool is that!? 

  In addition, if you
  are interested in Christian computer games, Landover Baptist children use
  Bible-based-maps and characters in Unreal Tournament as part of their Christian
  Soldier training to help Jesus slaughter sinners in the final battle of
  Armageddon (which God willing, will happen during President George W. Bush’s
  second term). Remember to tell your parents to vote for GW in 2004, so that you
  can meet Jesus real soon and thank Him personally for all the cool stuff He is
  going to be sending you through this and other super-cool Landover Baptist Kids
  promotions this year!

  The website can be
  found at http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0104/ps2.html …Check out the
  blasphemy that ensues. I don’t understand how these people can call themselves
  Christians. For those that have kids or siblings that would give into this, you
  may want to talk to them and warn them about tricks like this—they do it for
  many other things as well…(It’s a big “take money from your parents” scam…
  almost as big of a scam as Benny Hinn….)

  • 10:32 pm
  • 5 Comments