so i’ve put off updating because i was afraid of what i would say (or not say)… i have so many thoughts and feelings that i want to get out, but at the same time, am i truly prepared to say them? there’s a finality with it all–one that i don’t know that i’m prepared for just yet….

i’m dealing with so many things right now, and could really use my friends a lot, but it seems as if they’re just not interested in being there as much as i am for them. we discuss their problems and concerns, but when it comes around to me, they leave me hanging. i deserve my time, too. so what if i live in a different city? friendship knows no bounds… or at least i thought that to be true. …i’m not saying every friend is like this, but a few that really matter to me have become so self-involved (not their fault–they have problems too) to the point that it seems that i no longer matter. it just hurts.

maybe it’s just that we’re all at different points in our lives. i know i don’t have time to call everyone all the time, and i don’t expect my friends to just start calling every day, but when we’re in a conversation, how about asking how i am for once, and be truly interested. this may not be a big deal to you all now, because you’re surrounded by tons of friends that you could easily go to to be heard, but you know what, wait til you’re gone and see who sticks around. i’d like to think i’d be one of those “forever friends…”

again, not towards one person, and not necessarily towards my commerce friends, but just in general. thanks for listening. you are a great friend.

(and that wasn’t even the half of it)

Loves and AOT,
–Jen

p.s. happy birthday to the bestest big bro ever…