it’s time for me to just suck it up and go.
my friends, i am really going to try to make it to the gym.
i can’t keep bitching about my weight unless i’m doing everything in my power to fix it.
i’m not going to waste my breath lying to you: i know i’m only half-assing my efforts.
it’s such a difficult position to be in — motivated for change, but unmotivated to move. i need to get these two things synced up in my head and go for it.
i just can’t help but feel so isolated in regard to this. most of my friends are skinny (or guys), and they just don’t understand the mentality of a newly-made fat girl. they say they do, but they don’t. and if i can’t relate, i just shut off.
strangely, watching obama get the nomination last night really got me thinking.
he was the underdog. history said he wouldn’t make it this far. but he kept digging in, working hard toward his goal. and you know what? he’s almost there.
“yes we can,” he says.
yes i can.
(so i guess that means no more birthday week cheesecake and sodas, eh? crap.)
imma bad panda.
