December 22, 2008

• Doucheyness roasting on an open fire …

  It feels good to be a grinch.

  That’s why I—along with StewieIsMyHero and CanadianBroad—am co-hosting the:

  

  This portion of the Party will be for all you people channeling Scrooge this year (or every year). Do you have some sort of beef with the Holiday Season? Does your family resemble that of a heard of charging water buffalo? Perhaps you are fed up with the all the PC talk on “Merry Christmas”. Hate corporate America? Well, do we have a job for you.

  TELL US ALL ABOUT IT!

  But be sure to be as douchey as possible. For some of you that won’t be a problem.  For my category, write a post about why you find the holidays annoying. Whether it’s the music or the movies, people or the corporate greed, share what annoys you about the season!

  The submissions will be divided into three categories:
  General Dislikes- BarelyJen
  Family Woes- StewieIsMyHero
  Changes You’d Make- CanadianBroad

  For the other categories, please visit the corresponding hosts’ site for their individual rules.

  Please direct your submission to the person that is hosting the category that best fits your entry. My portion of the contest is officially CLOSED!

  The Douche-tastic entrants:
  the top three, submitted to Vanedave:
  MasterJeordie
  Laurelitavera
  LostInTheLyrics

  runners-up:
  FivePTS
  BlondBabe1305

  Baranorewen
  flashbulb100w
  lizheartshakespeare

  Expose your inner-doucheyness for the world to see.

  You know you wanna.
  
  Now, pardon me as I rant for a moment. My inner-douchebag is coming out:
  
  

  1. Just DRIVE! It amazes me how people lose all knowledge of proper driving etiquette around the holidays. You know what I’m talking about—Mr. It’s-all-about-me zooms through stop and yield signs only to take 10 minutes to park his SUV in the compact space. Turn signals are thrown by the wayside, making navigation a varitable free-for-all. I’ll stay inside until January, thank you.
  
  2. Sale! Sale! Sale! If you think you’re getting a good deal on something, you probably aren’t. Most stores thrive on mark-ups—sure, it’s 75% off NOW, but it was also marked up 150% to ensure a healthy profit would be garnered.

  3. Ungrateful bastards. Somehow, this season of celebration has turned into something ugly and awful. We have a horrible case of the “gimmes” and it’s not going away. When did kind sentiments and thoughtful gifts turn into “give me this, this and this or I’ll be upset forever”? Wish lists are no longer wistful hopes, but COMMANDS. There is nothing worse than putting time and effort into a thoughtful gift, only to evoke scowls, whines and cries of disappointment.
  
  4. It sucks to be at work. No, not everyone celebrates Christmas, and I respect that. However, everyone appreciates an extra day or two off work at the end of the year. For those that DO celebrate the season, is it too much to ask to have Christmas Eve off as well?

  5. Wasteful holiday parties. Want to celebrate your employees? Skip the lame party, and give everyone an extra paid day off instead. No one wants to hear Manager Ed singing drunk karaoke, so spare us.

  ALL participants of the “General Dislikes” category will be put into random “door prize” drawings!
  (The more comments and recommends, the higher the prize value!)

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  Be sure to stop by Vanedave‘s Holiday party, going on ’til Christmas!

  • 10:46 pm
  • 53 Comments