February 13, 2009
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I’m seeing red (condoms)!!! *UPDATED*
A local store put up a creative Valentine’s Day display in their storefront windows. The display was a giant red heart, fashioned out of wrapped condoms. The intent is to promote AIDS awareness and safe sex, under a “give love, get love” tagline. The news story asked several people their thoughts on the display (mostly teenage or 20-something girls, way to spread the interviews around) and the general consensus — reached amidst the naive giggling — was that while being a good message, it was inappropriate for kids to be exposed to.
What?!?! First of all, unless you knew what a condom was, it would simply look like a giant heart.
Second, In today’s world, kids are exposed to sex at a younger age than ever. We are at a place where we have sex, but don’t discuss the repercussions of our actions. We aren’t being honest with ourselves. What’s wrong with being honest about protection? I don’t know that I knew much about condoms or sex until my mid-teens (shameful, but I was sheltered and blissfully unaware. Because of this, I’ve struggled with speaking about sex through the years. Times are different now.) I think the marketing was impactful and more honest than most of America is willing to be with our children.
No, this shouldn’t be a person’s first introduction to a condom, I realize, but dammit, it should serve as a reminder of what COULD happen when you have sex without thinking. People die from not using one of those. Initiate the dialogue.
What age would you teach your children about condoms and the practice of safe sex?
Also worth noting, I wrote this whole thing on the iPhone (the need to blog about this was overwhelming. You’re welcome.)
Comments (148)
I disagree, but I see your point.
I think the problem is that we are so sexualized that we would even CONSIDER a display like that.
Kids are exposed to sex WAY TOO YOUNG. We need to focus on changing that – not living with it.
Anyway, that’s just my two cents.
First? I think that it might have been a little inappropriate. Especially for younger people. I would have responded with a giggle. I giggle at things like that.
@icicle84 - glare
I told my girls about sex at age 9. I told them about condoms at 11 and 9, together.
I was also the one they asked about periods, pads, and tampons.I answered their questions as best I could.
Trying to hide sex from our kids is just stupid, they are bombarded with it.
I love the fact you blogged on your iPhone. That just proves you’re getting back into the swing of things.
I think it’s inappropriate to have such a display. That’s not something kids should be exposed to so early. Parents should take responsibility to have ‘the talk’ before the kid hits puberty. Not before – it leads to too many “curious” mistakes that end up as scars.
@Undercover_Librarian - glare??? I don’t get it.
Agreed. I think that this is a good idea. It’s a condom wrapper design. Not pornography. I think that teaching kids about safe sex is healthy. I would say the age you talk to your child should depend on their maturity level.
I think that kids should be told frankly about sex shortly before they start hitting puberty. But I think they should be told by parents, ideally, or at least by a trusted and responsible adult. They shouldn’t find out from a store display.
@icicle84 - you stole my ‘first’ spot. *glare*
@Undercover_Librarian - gotcha. I was wondering if I should start savoring shoe leather again.
@icicle84 - I want to disagree with me, too. I enjoyed being blissfully unaware, but in today’s world, it’s not practical. I’m not saying handing them a condom as they head off to first grade, but we just need to be honest with them if we want them to make wise decisions.
Also worth noting, this was to promote AIDS awareness and protection more than promoting sex in an appealing manner.
@BarelyJen - I know what you mean. I’m not talking about blissful ignorance, though. I’m talking about a society whose standards of decency have gone down the toilet. And for me the “well, if it’s happened, let’s make the best of it” attitude reflected in this kind of display is just exacerbating the problem.
Again, nothing personal, and I can easily see some of the logic behind it. But it’s just sort of a passion of mine (as I’ve been negatively impacted by the sexualized culture).
@icicle84 - I absolutely agree with your logic (and it seems we have a ton in common). I am disappointed with where society has gone — I was fortunate to not grow up in America … MTV culture was a shock for my 12-year-old self! I also have lost two people to AIDS, and really believe that awareness (though I’m an advocate of parents initiating the dialogue) is important. I love our discussion!!
Geez, I need to get on my computer to keep going; my fingers are tired! Alas, it’s bedtime.
I mean, its wrapped condoms, whats the harm? Children too young to know what they are…won’t know what they are, and teens SHOULD know what they are.
Honestly I don’t think a 5 year old would know what a condom was, so being exposed to it on a big red heart probably wouldn’t register what it was. I know that a lot of parents don’t want sex and sex products slammed in their kids faces, so I can see where the older girls were coming from.
I didn’t know what a condom looked like till I was out of high school. I knew what they were for around the age of 12 and that everyone should use them. But like I said, a small kid will just think a red condom is just a big sequin probably!
We’ve been answering questions (age appropriately) for our daughter all along, as she’s posed them. When her interest in boys peaked, we started discussing rules for dating and the kinds of contact we thought were appropriate. She’s 15 now and we’ve had just about every conversation you could have concerning sex: protection, emotions, situations, risks, and everything in between.
I grew up learning on my own the hard way. Our intention was to prepare her and protect her as much as possible.
@BarelyJen - yeah – time for me to leave work, too. TTYL.
You know I am living proof that standards can be passed on & work. So I am with Ici, Lets Stop “Living” with it & do something about it. I have almost 4 teens & although we are open, its the parents & mentors job to talk about sex & safety not stores,schools or anyone else. And even though I see the point of bringing up awareness such displays desensitize us to what has crossed the line. The shallow selfish thing that sex has become needs to stop, it needs to be reclaimed & talked about well & in the right settings.
Yes, I would. My mom always told me that even though abstinence is the best policy that if I ever needed to, to be safe.
I think it is totally appropriate and sends a very good message. I don’t have children but if I did I would want them to learn about safe sex once they are around fifth grade. It’s old enough to understand and young enough where they probably aren’t sexually active.
agree completely
I agree that kids are way too exposed to sex but these days they just grow up faster especially with the internet and everything else. I don’t know if that’s ever gonna change.
I think it’s kinda blah that they wrapped them in red.
My mom told my sister and I about sex and condoms when we were 6. I think it was smart because in case we were violated or something we had the vocab to tell or mom/proper authorities what happened.
I agree, I too was very sheltered growing up and didnt learn anything about sex until i was in school event then it wasnt until 9th grade that I knew what the abbreviations ment. Sex appeal is reaching out towards younger kids and its sad to watch T.V shows when girls who are 14 talk about sex. I look at my little sister ( who is the age when I lost my “innocence”) and think WTF was i thinking, I was still so young! I hope she waits!! But if she knows about proctection then she has no excuse not to use it!
I’m so far from having kids that I have no idea when I’d tell them.
Young kids are getting into sex at a younger age in more mass numbers… I dont know what would change it… but I would like to see something done about it… I dont know that the condom thing necessarily is to blame… it teaches safe sex… so thats good. Anyway, how are you doing? I have not heard from ya in a little while
Too much emphasis is placed on the age of a person, go to school when you’re 5, graduate when you’re 18, dirnk when you’re 21. We celebrate Valentines day every year, it’s a day of love but only if you’re age appropriate. I remember when I was growing up, I had no interest in having sex, but I was curious anyway. All I got was the cold sterile nervous talk by my folks, which left me feeling a bit odd about the whole sex thing. It should be out in the open and freely spoken of to anyone, especially children, it might make for more secure adults in the future. But then I tend to fight anything resembling victorianism.
hmmmm…good question. I’ll probably explain this stuff early on but I will teach that they wait.
I’m fine with the display. I think that as soon as a child shows curiosity in sex (not learning about where babies come from because that happens most of the time much earlier than sexual curiosity) it should be discussed ad nauseum. If a child is old enough to want to know, it’s the parent or teacher’s responsibility (or whichever adult the child turns to) to teach them about the risks and ways to be safe. There’s no such thing as too early.
I’ve always said that my idea of GOOD sex education would be to have a class as regular as math or science that starts in middle school and goes on through the end of high school. I know that if I were ever to have children, I would definitely probably tell them about sex and so on before they reach middle school. In fact, my own sister is currently in 6th grade, and before she started, we had long talks about periods and vaginas and penises and sex and babies and so on this summer.
Only in Dallas…
I figure I’ll start talking about it when I see my kids are spending more nights with friends, etc. Definitely by 15. AND, I will never tell them it’s okay to be having sex…but I do want the to have the knowledge and desire to be safe if they’re going to do it anyway.
I was taught it was wrong and I was VERY involved in church…but I still had sex long before marriage.
No kids but safe sex for pets seems so drastic, Yes ??
@BrittMiles27 - And 76 other locations across the US
After seeing this news story: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2233878.ece
About a 13 year old father who impregnated a 15 year old girl when he was 12. I’ll tell my kids when they are 8.
I agree with you that it is an awesome display. Like you said, unless they were already exposed to condoms, they wouldnt even notice what it was! I doubt they would even ask about it. Its not like they look that unusual when they are packaged – they are just circles afterall!
(I still remember the first time I figured out what razor was. My mom accidently left it in the shower…)
Here it’s taught in school in the first or second grade.
I’m jealous you blog better on the iphone than my android….
but anyhow i received sex education in the 5th grade
so i guesss thats when id teach my kids that..
We can debate the emotional affect of seeing a display like this all day. But the bottom line is that children are better served being informed rather than ignorant. For instance, would THIS have happened had these kids been aware? Who knows… I just know that with my children, talking to this is the ounce of prevention that’s worth a pound of cure.
I plan to start talking about sex with my child as soon as possible, of course always being age appropriate. My husband got the sex talk through his childhood, and he ended up waiting til marriage. I’m not saying that’ll always happen..but I believe a lot of good can come out of discussing it as early as possible.
Hello Jen. I feel like we haven’t spoken in ages woman. I miss me some Jen. Just barely though. Get it? No? Okay on with my answer to your query.
I would say this answer changes with the times. I would rather my kid hear about sex from me than some nasty ass snot nosed kid at school. Today I would say I would start teaching my kids about sex right around twelve or thirteen. At the current rate we are going though soon we’ll have to start at five years old to stay ahead of these fast ass kids.
I think the best time is right before they hit puberty, so starting with the basics at 6th grade would be good. Then gradually giving more useful information throughout middle school/going more in depth.
I think it all depends on the child. Some kids notice stuff more and need to have answers. Some kids like to be unaware and it seems dumb to force it on them. To me, just having the communication lines open so you know when you kids are ready to talk about this stuff is just as important as the actual ‘talk’. My parents gave me a book in 5th grade and said I could ask questions. I never did. We didn’t talk about sex again until I was 20. Go figure.
I agree with you. I think it’s ridiculous that people thought it was inappropriate. I say if a child giggles and knows what a condom is, then it’s time to sit down and give them “the talk”. Other than that, I think a good age would be around 12 or 13 or sooner if the females get their periods before that age. I just think combining those 2 is good.
And I know how you feel about the iPhone. My net was down so I had to type a huge entry on my iTouch. Actually, that’s how I’m posting this comment right now. =]
What age would you teach your children about condoms and the practice of safe sex?
I realy don’t know how I would speak about this with my children (I haven’t got children then, I am 20).
I am french, and at the age of 13, we have lesson about reproduction at school. First, the reproduction of plants, then animals, and to finish, human one. They explain us menstruation and how does all of this things work. We also have lesson with a doctor, and he (often she) aware us about protection, we have discussions and all this kind of things. IT was there that I learn a lot of good things, like protect myself, how to get help if I have a problem (mentruation, a question or want to have condom….). I think that educating children at school, learn mechanism and all of this biologic elements before learning how protect ourselfs.
Most kids would just see a heart. They are too young to know what condoms are until we start to educate them.
Age ten.
Have you seen this story?: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2233878.ece
It’s about a thirteen year old boy who got a fifteen year old girl pregnant. The boy hasn’t even hit puberty yet!
first, provide the examples necessary for those who learn only what they think they see many examples of proper behaviour. second, without lurid details, try to impress this idea of consequences of both good and bad choices…bullocks to “not ’til your married” but eff “free love” too. enjoy life with your eyes wide open and hopefully brain functioning. oh, when should one know about what sex and safe sex is? it depends on who they are maturity-wise.
@icicle84 - I agree.
It was a bit overkill for the general public. Sometimes we need to promote the power of discretion.
Honestly I have no problems with the display. Sad thing is there are way too many parents who do not discuss what condoms should be used for with their children. I was lucky, my mother was very open about everything and made sure I knew how to be safe. And if people do not like it, then don’t look. I mean sheesh, there are things I see all the time I do not like but I am not going to throw a hissy fit and demand it be removed. There are adults out there who really need to grow up.
hopefully, i’ll get to them before they’re FRIENDS do.
of course, that could be a lot sooner than i think. eh.
ewwwey. i hare those things
I agree. This wasn’t displayed in West Hollywood, CA was it? ha ha Finally, someone on xanga who is realistic about sex just not judgemental. Thank you!!
I was taught about sex at the tender age of nine. Not sure if it had anything to do with the school district’s demographics but I certainly didn’t learn it from my conservative parents. We never talk about this stuff. I think the display isn’t inappropriate. I feel that the Gossip Girl ads were much racier. This display is just teaching people that with sex comes protection. It goes hand in hand.
The display is a good approach to teaching safe sex. Tsk tsk tsk. Some people are such hypocrites.
I’d teach them about sex and protection once they reach high school. That’s when the first time usually happens. But I hope they will choose to abstain until they are older and more mature. Sex is not only physical; it is also an emotional act.
I Agree with you. I don’t think that it is inappropriate at all. How can kids be hurt by an image if they can’t recognize what it is they are actually looking at. It has two different meanings, it’s quite discreet if you ask me. It it is not like they put porn up for display.
I have no clue when I would tell my kids about sex, most likely kids will know about it before you know that they know.
8th or 9th grade seems appropriate for me…since they are starting high school
But kids are trying new stuff younger and younger…
My friends sister got pregnant at the age of 14…
By the time I have kids, will I have to give them the sex talk in kindergarten? Geesh.
Keep your legs closed til you are responsible enough to deal with the circumstances.
Oh, how gross.
“I don’t know that I knew much about condoms or sex until my mid-teens (shameful, but I was sheltered and blissfully unaware.”
i dodn’t know much about sex or condoms til i had it at 14.
i’m going to teach my kids about it as soon as i feel that they can understand it…
<3 micalyn
I would wait until they asked questions but would start to initiate conversations from ten upwords. It depends on the child.
I completely agree with you. I think i would talk to my kids about it as soon as their old enough to learn what happens during puberty. I know thats kinda young, but my parents sheltered me (and i went to a catholic school) and, like you, i didn’t learn about condoms or anything until my mid-teens and i had to do the research on my own. I hated being so uninformed and wished my parents had been more comfortable talking about it. I mean, my mom told me about puberty and just told me not to have sex. And that was that. That was also the extent of sex ed at school, with a bit of the biology of how exactly a baby is conceived. It was pathetic.
Regarding that display, i think it’s genious! I don’t see anything inappropriate about it at all.
I’ve decided that I’m telling my kids as soon as they ask. If I have a girl, I’ll teach her about sex when she has her period. If I have a boy, I’m not sure…. maybe I’ll wing it? But if my kids come asking me about sex because they heard it from so and so, or saw something on TV, I am sure as hell going to make sure they get the right information. And above all, I will teach them about *safe* sex.
when a child iz old enuf to ask that child iz old enuf to learn
Well, I like the display and don’t find it inappropriate… Like you said, if the kids don’t know what condoms are, then they don’t know. If they know, I don’t see the problem of them being exposed to condoms again.
I was never really exposed much to sex by my parents. They didn’t “shelter” me, I just had no interest in learning about it and I think they knew I’d learn about it from peers (believe me- I did!).
For my children, I will teach them when I blieve they are ready and when they are curious. If they ever have questions, I will have open ears and offer them all that I know, just like my parents were willing to do, even though I didn’t take it.
kids aren’t necessarily being exposed to sex at a younger age than ever before. we’re actually returning to our “ancestral roots” somewhat. just 500 years ago, girls were married around age 12 and bore children by 14-15. it was the norm in europe, as well as the americas (pre-colonial)
sex is not some terribly inappropriate thing that can’t be discussed openly. in fact, it seems that america is one of the few nations that advocate such a conservative idea. i’m glad to see us going backwards a bit. now all we have to do is focus a little more on emotional involvement
idk id either start in about 5th grade or so… or when they asked or started learning about sex on there own
hahaha oh america.
they made something like that with condoms in a heart shape and passed them out for free in my campus yesterday. I didn’t know what it was but it was cute, so I asked for more. The volunteer gave me the dirtiest look.
In a time when TOO many young adults and teens are having sex without a condom for some of the dumbest reasons, least of which they don’t know how to use one, I believe that teaching sex ed to kids BEFORE they get to the point where it even becomes and issue is a good idea. No you don’t promote sex, you promote SAFE SEX in the event that they are going to have it. So I say starting at around when they enter junior high and they start to like the opposite sex, so between 10-13 depending on the child. Sex is everywhere now, on tv, in movies, books, magazines, even cartoons targeted to young kids have them coupled up, so is it such a bad idea to teach someone to be prepared BEFORE it becomes an issue? I don’t think so.
I totally agree with you. Kids these days are exposed to many sexual content especially form the media and many young kids are having sex at really young ages. Anyways children won’t know what a condom is anyways unless they have seen one or learned what is was. This condom heart is a good and funny message for adults and young adolescents and is a reminder to the public about safe sex.
ahaah wtf. thats kinda weird
I learned about sex in the fifth grade with my parents consent. It was very well taught. I say the ealier the better. Now a days, we have babies having babies and that horrible.
Fifth grade… right before middle school. I am a teacher at a public school. Trust me, if you don’t tell them about sex before middle school, the dirty kids on the bus will.
Although, I totally dig the condom heart.
I think that’s a great way to promote safe sex. It just looks like a heart fashioned out of red dots. Apparently, we can see giant walls of half-naked girls, but oh no not contraceptives!
I think that its fine. For people that understand what a condom is, it sends a good message. And if your kid doesn’t know what a condom is, then why worry? It will just look like a decoration to them.
@icicle84 - I’m not sure I agree with you. The idea of children’s innocence about sex is a relatively new one. If you think about it, 150 years ago, children lived on farms, where things like sex and death were impossible to keep from them. Keeping sex from kids makes it seem like there’s something to hide – like it’s not completely natural and beautiful. I do agree however, that we need to start teaching our kids different things about sex than we’re teaching them now, like that it should not be taken as lightly as sitcoms make it seem and that they should be safe, and that sexuality is a personal thing.
I do agree that our children are becoming way too sexualized, but I don’t think keeping the idea of sex from them is the way to stop that trend.
i think the ad is VERY inappropriate. they can promote aids awareness without forcing me to look at condoms when i go into their store. i find it a shame. .
I think that it works for both sides. If you are pro-sexual exposure, then you are going to get the message and the intent. If you aren’t and your kids don’t know what a condom is, it’s just going to look like a bunch of red dots. It’s not like it comes with a sign that says, “Oh, by the way, these are condoms which are used for safer-sex practices. Start bugging your parents about it, kids.”
So in that sense, no, it is not inappropriate. At all.
Personally, I think that ad is freaking amazing.
I can’t remember a time before I knew what sex was. I learned about condoms slightly later, I don’t remember exactly when, though I know it was long before puberty. I think this has helped me make better decisions with my life.
hey thats FCUK~ xP
I saw it too. I was really surprised they’d put that as the window, but its definitely a good idea. I still can’t talk about sex openly (I’m gonna be 20 soon.. omg) to most people except my boyfriend.
Anyways, you’d be surprised how uneducated about sex some people can be regardless of how many Sex Ed programs the governments try to offer through school But then again, who pays attention in school? Let’s face it. most of us didn’t pay much attention in highschool, especially those non important courses (like Sex Ed)
I think its best when your child starts puberty..To speak about sex properly ofcourse. I think that when the child reaches puberty then are old enough to handle what they will be told.
I think sex, and all the precautions related to it, should be discussed with your kid when ever they seem to be ready for it. The problem is, a lot of parents are not connected enough to their children to know when that time is.
i think that sex is a natural part of humanity and rather than protecting them from the so-called “evils” of sex we should teach them from an early age about safe sex and the dangers of wantonness. we should teach them to respect one another and to be aware of themselves, their personal desires as well as what makes them uncomfortable sexually. sex should not be taboo- we should teach our children well so they are responsible and aware adults.
Genesis 38:1-12 (New International Version)Genesis 38:8-108
Then Judah
said to Onan, “Lie with your brother’s wife and fulfill your duty to
her as a brother-in-law to produce offspring for your brother.”
9
But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so whenever he lay
with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep
from producing offspring for his brother.
10
What he did was wicked in the LORD’s sight; so he put him to death also.
i saw that at my mall too while i was shopping with my parents and offhandedly said, ‘are those condoms?’ then fidgeted in embarrassment as my parents walked up to it to examine the red heart
I think 8 is an appropriate age.
I remember seeing a CSI episode once, about how a man sexually abused a mentally challenged girl, and she didn’t even know it was happening, because her parents had never told her what sex was. Also, i have friends that have been either sexually abused or just sexually promiscous by the age of 12. the earlier they know how to protect themselves, the better.
my parents never taught me about practicing safe sex and what not, not even a word. i never minded it though, it came upon myself as common sense. adolescents are now hearing more and more about the use of condoms and the risk of std’s from television, magazines, advertisements such as that ^ one, and most kids get the opportunity to take a health class that enlightens them on all that good stuff.
but even so, it seems like the rate in teenage pregnancies are multiplying quite quickly as well. i personally don’t think it’s the lack of education on this subject, it is just immaturity and that “it’s not going to happen to me” sense that teenagers get more than anything. they know, they just don’t care.
There’s a 13-year old father residing in England and he doesn’t know what “financially” meant.
When they hit puberty or when they start asking questions, and are old enough to understand.
I think when they hit puberty would be an ideal time to explain the concept of sex and protection to them.
As far as everyone saying it’s good to talk to children about sex as early as 6 so if they’re sexually abused they can describe what happened, I think they can do that anyway. Just make sure your children understand that they’re not supposed to be touched down there and that if someone does touch them there that they tell the parents or authorities. They don’t need to have the ‘sex talk’ to be able to protect themselves. My little cousin is 6 and a boy in his grade knows what sex is and has tried getting the girls in his class to touch him. I just think that’s horrible and I feel that if he didn’t know what sex was, he wouldn’t be trying to make them touch him. So yea, it could protect them but it can have consequences too.
My kids won’t learn about sex until they are 9 years old. But I will talk to them about adults touching their private parts and what they should do if that happens. Girls are starting puberty as young as 9 years old, both in the East and the West. Girls are getting pregnant at 10 years old in the USA, no doubt because of all these dang chemicals, hormones, and steroids that are being put into our milk, meat, and veggies/fruits. It’s ridiculous. The only reason this is even happening is because of the stupid food people (i.e. meat raisers/companies/slaughter houses) only want MONEY $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$! That’s all they care about. On your blog, that display is completley unessecary.
Yesterday when I went to the store to buy condoms I walked down the aisle and found myself an unwilling participant in conversation with a woman and her four year old daughter. A conversation about how Target was out of KY Intrigue and all Trojan products.
The little girl asked her mom what condoms were for, and her mom told her, straight up, with nothing other than the basic medical terms. It would appear this mother had already told her daughter what she found appropriate for the girl’s age. I was impressed.
well my problem with this ad is not that whole condom thing…but the tag line…give love, get love…as if premarital sex = love…bullshit…that is NOT what we should be teaching kids. I am sorry…kids know about condoms today. What they need is to realize the emotional repercussions of sex that no condom can protect against. teenagers should not be having sex and the fact that so many are reflects poorly on our society…it’s as if our kids have nothing better to do. that’s a problem.
@Undercover_Librarian - hahaha
I would talk to my child about comprehensive sex ed as soon as he or she wanted to. When children, especially young children, have questions about sexuality it is very important that they receive the correct messages and aren’t traumatized and made to feel ashamed of their body or their curiosity. There’s no need to sit down and have a big, scary “Talk” if one continuously fosters an open stream of communication about sex and relationships.
wow the iphone is more versatile than i thought.. it’s a good display, it’ll probably just look like candy or toys or something to kids, or maybe even just red circles, haha, kids aren’t exactly overly analytical. although it does seem like a waste… what if it gets warmer than room temperature in the sun all day? then you can’t safely use those =P
@AlterEgo909 - agreed.
It was to promote AIDS awareness, so the people that knew they were condoms and knew what the message was are now a little more aware of AIDS. Those that didn’t know what it was got to see a big shiny heart.
It seems like a job well done to me.
Adolescents who receive “abstinence-only” education -rather than a “safe sex” education (with or without an emphasis/suggestion on abstinence)- are more likely to engage in early sex that results in teenage pregnancies.
I can’t remember when I first learned about sex. I remember that one day my elementary school separated all the fifth graders up by gender and taught us about what we could expect from our bodies at puberty, but I think the actual sex (and STDs) education came as part of the the Phys Ed class in eighth grade. It was good timing.
That’s a good point, though. It’s only an issue if you know what a condom is. It’s like the whole naked-Miley-Cyrus pictures circus again. The most splashed-about picture was of a barebacked-Cyrus with tousled hair, holding a sheet to her chest. Only adults would understand the implications behind that picture – children wouldn’t comprehend what might have happened before/after. It was only an issue if you knew about sex.
well.. i’m only 14 but i was taught about sex when i was 10. and this was in school in england. i think it was really beneficial for me because i have moved schools since then, and alot of my friends that havn’t had sex ed are having sex now, but i’m not because i know about it and frankly i dont think it’s that big of a deal. and i’m proud to say i’m still a virgin. i think that kids should be taught at a young age like me, so that sex is just a part of life and no big deal so there will be no fuss to have it.
and i really like the display.. so adorable. lolxoxokatrina
We should be open with our children.
However we should not force it upon them.
All of this nonsense about sex education in kindergarten is just…stupid, to say the least.
We are all “bombarded” with sexuality…TV, advertisements, magazines, etc. However, as far as this topic is concerned, a naive sense of these things is proper until the child asks about it. && I’m not talking about explaining EVERYTHING. Just answer their questions like you would answer “why is the sky blue?”
As they get older [10, 11, 12, etc.] that is when parents should sit them down and speak to them about promiscuity, birth control, puberty, etc. because asking about those sorts of things are embarrassing for them at that age.
It is not a complicated process. Awkward, perhaps, but not complicated.
Understandably some children age more quickly and this information might come earlier than parents would hope, but the more open parents are then the more open their children will be about asking questions.
It’s like the parents that have wine with dinner. It’s something adults do, and their time will come. Eventually.
It is a mistake also, to assume that kids are having sex. A great deal are not, and are attempting to make smart decisions concerning their sexuality. So, sitting there and explaining everything like it’s going to chuck-e-cheeses is a damn mistake, and parents are making it and the tax payers are paying for it–and their offspring.
The biggest point to stress with anything with children–especially sexual activity–is responsiblity.
Most parents hardly teach it now, because their parents did not know how to teach it to them.
If your children can be responsible with other things, it is most likely to apply with their body and their sexuality.
Like I said: Awkward common sense.
Fin.
I don’t really see anything inappropriate with the display. I don’t think most kids would ask about what the red things in the display are. Heck, most kids (and adults, for that matter) might just see the display for a few seconds while passing by it on their way into the store, and thus not pay it much attention.
i agree.
i wouldn’t teach my kids until they are 16ish. but with today’s world, they would have already got the low down from their friends at age 8
me being fifteen, alot of people my age talk about it constantly, and know ALOT about it, and tend to go into details about their own sex lives. But I really didn’t know about it till I was about 13, and me not even having a sex life, I perfer not too talk about it
I’d probably try and teach them around 13. Puberty and whatnot. Plus, at that age, if you don’t tell them, someone else will.
My parents kept sexual knowledge from me and I learned it on my own. I wish they would have been more open with me about it when I had questions. They were probably embarrassed or thought I was too young. Humans are sexual by nature and this culture is also very sexual. If a child has a question about sex, they need to get the right answers. By puberty, they need to know how their bodies work and how the opposite sex’s bodies work, too. If they are sheltered, I feel that most kids will rebel.
I think the condom heart was a good idea. Anyone who knew what they were, already knows about sex. Anyone else would probably be little affected.
Because of divorce, I didn’t have much opportunity to teach my kids about much, and it sometimes shows. But they were properly cautioned about inappropriate behaviors and told about not letting anyone touch them improperly at a very young age. Before the divorce and since my kids have gotten older, we have enjoyed a fairly open relationship. I tried to teach them my values before they found themselves in a complicated situation. I also tried to teach them safe sex practices, not so they would go test them, but so they would be prepared when ready.
I recommend teaching children about the safety and moral implications of abstinence from a young age, but that is so difficult when media touts sex as forcefully as it does.
It’s the “Give love, get love” slogan that I find especially disturbing…as if to imply that giving sex is the only way to give love. *shakes head*
Most kids wouldn’t even know what it is. And if your 5 year old asks (and you don’t feel like talking about condoms yet) there are plenty of ways of not explaining it.
Personally, I think it’s great. There needs to be a greater exposure to condoms considering teen pregnancy is still so high.
You can do all that with your phone? *drools* I want one.
When I was little and asked my dad how babies were made he started explaining the process of meiosis. He really didn’t beat around the bush.
Naturally, I thought he was making it all up.
I agree with you, if you don’t know what a condom is, its just a big heart to you. Now, if I had children and they asked what made up the heart, I would tell them. Everyone needs to know about safe sex. Even kids! Because kids are having sex at such a young age now.
@icicle84 - I totally agree with you. For instance, while although I love shopping at Victoria Secret’s, I am appalled that whenever my family and I walk through the mall we are exposed to a dozen sexually clad models hugging each other on a giant poster attached to the store’s window. I don’t think that my young children should be exposed to such things. But then again, it’s everywhere.
I would tell my kids as soon as possible, sex is everywhere nowadays and I just think they should hear it from me. As for your condom story, I don’t think it’s really terrible for kids. I can remember myself holding a funny coloured package one day and asking my mom what is was, when I heard it was a condom I didn’t really care so much. I also think they maybe don’t even know that they are condoms.
I don’t plan to have kids, but I could see how this is a hot topic :] I would see nothing wrong with this because for all a kid would know, it was a rubber-looking like red candy in a wrapper on the window there.
In a way, I think that this is a really cute advertisement and that the AIDS awarenessness should be spread around. It’s horrible to have AIDS, although my only experience with it is the pictures on websites, but still.
It’s a shame that our society has turned sex into such a casual and accepted practice, but let’s face it, it will more than likely never go back to “the way it use to be.” You just can’t reverse things like that.
In my opinion, steps need to be taken towards education, awareness and prevention. That advertisement is fine.
you need to expose your kids to sex, they need to know about condoms. i think that this was very cool and not a bit inappropriate.
I’m not offended by the condoms per se, but the “Give Love, Get Love” message that’s posted underneath (I’m assuming it’s part of the same display). That’s making the connection that sex=love, which is far from the truth. Sex and love are totally separate, and we as a society need to stop making that correlation. I can have sex with many people I don’t love, and I can be in love with someone and yet not have sex with them.
I totally agree with you! I think a lot of people do not realize just how much their young kids know about sex. It’s not just “teen” parents anymore, it’s tween parents. I blame poor parenting and abstinence only sex education. Kids need to be exposed to the dangers of sex so they can make fully informed decisions and not just jump on the bandwagon without any knowledge of what they are really getting into. I also think schools should have condoms available, because chances are they are going to do it anyways and while of course we all wish they would wait til they are 18, wouldnt you rather have them be safe if they choose not to wait?
First, I would say that my issue with that display is that it is equating sex and love. Yes, obviously, love should be part of sex. But is that the only way to show love? I guess I just don’t like it because the “give love get love” makes it seem frivolous…I think it’s the “Get love” part that annoys me. Real love is not about seeking to get anything in return.
Anyway, about kids. Tough question – it’s one I’ve thought about before, though. I want to start talking to my kids about it as early as possible; presumably once they start asking about the age of 4/5/6 “where do babies come from?” But, as I said, I strongly believe there are so many emotional and mental issues woven into the physical act of love, and those aren’t necessarily issues that can be brought up when the kid is just asking about the physical. So…I guess bring it up when they’re ready (4/5/6) and continue the conversation about the emotional & mental aspects as they age and opportunities present themselves. Gotta keep the line open because otherwise once they’re teenagers, it’s awkward.
I totally agree with you that children are exposed to sex at too early an age here – but yet we don’t talk about it.
If a kid knew what a condom was – it would only help remind him/her – USE ONE!!
And if a kid was too young – it would just be a giant heart! That’s what I saw at first until I read your description.
I’ve been in other countries where they have condom dispensers on the streets. But yet when I asked them if they have sex at an early age, surprisingly over half aren’t sexually active.
We need to educate the kids of why they shouldn’t have sex at an early age – preaching abstinence does not work!! Instead teach about safe sex in addition to teaching why they should wait till they’re older.
Kudos!!!!
before they hit peuberty, so that they know what to expect. Lord knows I’ll be breaking out pictures of what the desieses do too.
the answer is you have to tell them again and again and again, because the first few times they think they’re asking, but they forget it all.
We’re such a sex obsessed society, and then we have a problem talking about sex. Funny, really.
I definitely agree that teaching kids about safe sex early is possible. It’s unfortunate how early they’re introduced to the concept of sex, so we may as well make the best of it and teach them how to be safe.
On the other hand though, I think it was inappropriate to have that on a public display. A display in the store would be fine – I actually think it’s a great concept. But I don’t know…the whole thing may go over a kid’s head, but that doesn’t necessarily make it appropriate.
I definitely see your point though. Safe sex practices shouldn’t be hidden in hopes of keeping your kid’s innocence longer.
I haven’t been anywhere near the position of having to teach a child about sex, but I assume when I do, I’ll do it earlier than my parents did [which was never, and depending on me finding out on my own].
My friends did something similar to that on the headboard of my bed in preparation for my wedding night. My new ten-year-old sister-in-law thought they were candy. Talk about incredibly awkward when she asked for one…
Kids ARE exposed to sex way too young nowadays; it’s disgusting to hear about 13 year olds fooling around. When the times comes for me to have kids, I’d educate/talk to my child just before s/he goes to high school and maybe in middle school if s/he ever asks. Hopefully knowing about sex won’t encourage it though… O=
-Doris
Impactful – not a word.
I love the idea because no matter what anyone says or does: Sex sells! I really think that is the main reason why kids are exposed to it at such a young age, and I really don’t see it changing.
I agree with you. I think that children need to be more educated about consequences of having sex and anything else that comes with it. I wish someone had told me sooner, and not shoved “Abstinence is the only answer!” down my throat any time it was discussed.
i agree with you 100%
Last year the humanitarian club at my school put up a Darfur display case.
And we wrote something about the rape in it.
The school board made us take it down.
Rape’s happening, we’re high schoolers… we can handle it >.>
people are ignorant, and immature.
they don’t want to open their eyes and face the truth
Kids start learning about sex from their peers as early as third grade. And that information is almost always wrong. So I’ll start educating my kids about sex and all its repercussions right about then. Probably a little earlier. Nothing extremely graphic, just the basics so they don’t get confused by what their peers are saying. I know I was completely off-mark about what sex was until, oh, seventh? eighth? grade. I don’t even know who finally explained it to me, or whether I pieced it together, or whether I just learned what it was from one of my mom’s paperback romance books. I do know that my parents never told me what it was OR had a “talk” with me. I’m glad, personally, but I know that the lack of knowledge there may have put me in a compromised position had I been attractive. You know, the experimental stage and all. Je ne sais pas.
For girls, I’d say the age to talk about stuff is about 9-10 for general puberty, and maybe 10-12 for more sexual things like sex, STDS, protection, etc.. I’m going off experience, and these ages for me worked the best. My brother was told this stuff a bit later since boys mature later, so I think those ages are about fair.
Anything too young is way too weird, but kids are way to oversexed these days. I’m 17, and a virgin, and I know girls who are 12-14 having sex with multiple people. So…weird.
http://www.momaroo.com/momaroo/692826252/having-sex-at-12-years-old-boy-fathers-child-at-13/
http://www.xanga.com/TheTheologiansCafe/692816997/father-at-13/
according to this ^^^^^^^^, we aren’t teaching them soon enough…
A lot of people in this country are anti-education, unfortunately. I’m not surprised that that’s what people said.
I think that this sign is completely ACCEPTABLE. Most parents just beat around the bush to talk to their kids about sex. Instead, a kid finds out from a friend and most likely learns the wrong information. This is no worse than selling condoms at local retail stores. What are you going to do, avoid everything that can be related to sex so you kids don’t get “exposed” too early? No! There is no way possible to avoid the existence of sex and I think this display promotes kids to asks parents about sex. When kids start asking, that means they are old enough to know about what sex is. By telling them about sex I do mean the basics, not like positions, creams, and exotic stuff. Just the basics.
I LOVE the display, I think it is a great message to everyone, youth through adulthood, protection and education are the keys to living life!
Personally, I have a 2.5 yr old and I’m going to be completely open about everything. I don’t want my daughter to end up like Alfie, (or worse ending up with one of the MANY incurrable STD/I’s) however this seems to be where society is going. I believe kids should be exposed to protection, prevention, and abstinence in school and everywhere else. The world is not going to just going revert back to the 1950′s (when this was still happening however you were shunned it it were happening to you). We need to educate our children earlier, along with teaching them morals and right from wrong. This is all part of being a parent.
Hehe, over here, we got an Armani store that had almost the exact same display on their window. 2 red condom hearts. Except, I doubt they were promoting anything other than the holiday. To be honest, I just laughed but then I did think of the kids. But then I figured, my boy asked me what they are, I would say, their condoms. If asked what’s that, I would answer, its what a guy weres when having sex to prevent getting a girl pregnant. Etc. Parents may be shy about the correct age to talk about sex with kids, but if the kid asks, hey, he’s askin isn’t he? Might be time. I thought it was better for kids to come to parents about stuff like this. So why complain when kids get a motivation to ask questions?
At first glance, I honestly thought the condoms were lollypops.
it’s better than naked ppl.. this isn’t bad imo
probably tell them after 6th grade. im not joking around.
Well in Wisconsin we had a talk about the reproductive system in 5th grade that was optional…we were told not to show the reproduction books to the lower grades. In high school we talked about sex a little bit but it was sort of brushed over.
I think the choice should be left up to the parent. If I have a daughter some day I would suppose I would talk to her about condoms and safe sex around the time she hit puberty. If there were things offered in school about it I would let her attend before though…or maybe I’d tell her when she was old enough to understand and process through the information…whichever comes first. As for if I ever have a son somedaye, I would think I would tell him when he was old enough to process through the information.
All in all, I think I would want myself or my husband to be the first to discuss sex with our kids before they hear about it from someone else.
The “give love, get love” slogan would be kind of misleading to younger people in my opinion. It seems like they’re making sex and love out to be the same thing.
i see nothing wrong with itt.
if you didn’t tell me those were condoms i wouldn’t have known.
maybe it’s because i’m stupid.
kids need to know about sex before they hit puberty. actually at like age 9, cause when other kids start hitting puberty this topics come up.
@icicle84 - You’re my hero.
I live in India and if i see something like in India too. i will very happy. Because by just from that people do not know about condoms here India is second largest country in the world with HIV positive people.
And in my personal view, Condoms are freedom for girls. Not for man, imagine how many girls got pregnant before condoms were available. How many girls have takeoff them desires just because the scare of being pregnant. I really appreciate every effort which gives freedom to women and give them equal chance to live life as man. Condom is one of the greatest invention on the earth by mankind. Bravo those people who invented it.
Yep that sounds like america. Lets not inform the future generation about birth control and PROTECTION. Im sorry if sex makes some people uncomfortable but condoms are called PROTECTION for a reason. People need to get over their awkwardness, theres enough sexually uneducated young adults running around spreading diseases and getting pregnant to work in mcds barely able to support themselves. People need to grow up. Hell if anything put brochures explaining what condoms are and how they work. If it helps keep one person herpes/aids/syphallis free then isnt it worth it?