June 16, 2008
-
standstill.
there are so many things running through my head.
i’m being pulled thirty different directions and i don’t know which one to succumb to.
i find myself frantic, but unable to move.
i tell myself that things don’t bother me, but they do. more than they should.
i shouldn’t care about what other people do, or how they are. good or bad, that is THEM, not me.
i shouldn’t attribute myself for their stupidity/selfishness/bad sense (or on the flipside: sensibility/caring nature, etc.) — they are the way they are on their own.
i shouldn’t expect change from the world, just because i am ready for it.
i shouldn’t wait for things to get better with everything else before i get better myself. no one is waiting on me …
i am the only one that should matter. i am the only one who can make this easier.
case in point: i’ve been making this worse on me, just by being concerned about how everyone else is around me. i can’t do that anymore.
these are things that i’ve KNOWN for years, but could not (and who am i kidding, probably still can’t) live by.
i need to rise above.
if i want change, i need to make it happen.
i want to move forward.
i want out of this frenetic standstill.
here i go, wish me luck.
Comments (6)
Good luck with it all
@couldquitepossiblybeme - thanks
i just need to realize there are so many things out of my control. in reality, that’s the hardest thing to do.
You are struggling with things that every human struggles with. For some, like us, we care too much about what others need, feel, etc. For others, its the struggle to actually care about others over themselves. It’s human nature, my dearest. Tell you what: let’s make a pact, You and I, from now on, will start to worry about ourselves before we worry about others. We can “rise above” as you said! BUT, we can’t forget about those around us that mean the most when we think about ourselves. You can do this darling- you can do anything you set your mind to! *loves and hugs*
@lilmunky05 - it’s not that i think of others over myself, or them vice versa, it’s just me waiting on others to make a change in my life. i can’t control what others do/say/think, etc. i can only control myself
(but you’re right, we both tend to think about other’s over ourselves … quite possibly why i’m in the pickle i’m in!)
Are you qouting a song? It reads very familiar.
@Notme - if it sounds familiar, it’s just coincidence. these words are all mine