i can count on less than one hand how many people have seen my nether-regions, and dr. jodie is one of them.

(now
that i think about it, the realistic number is probably much higher,
given the number of people that changed my diapers back in the day.
we’re not going to get THAT technical.)

“i need to shave my legs!”

“what should i wear?!”

i settled on a simple cotton dress.

this morning, though, i only thought about one thing: food.

fasting
is not a particularly fun thing to do, but it’s necessary to get a
decent bloodwork sample. it was doubly painful for me since i had
finally put myself on a fairly regimented eating schedule. (by the end
of it all, i was RUNNING for my yogurt and banana!)

what do they test for?

the
doctor is monitoring my glucose (i’m hypoglycemic, a condition that
could turn into diabetes if i’m not careful), but they also test
cholesterol, LDL, HDL and triglycerides. needless to say, it’s important that they’re accurate.

i was weighed, had my
temperature and blood pressure taken. all normal.

one thing i always seem to forget: doctors are pee-happy.
they will almost always ask you for a sample. it just never fails. be
sure to arrive with a full bladder … otherwise, you’ll have to hang
around until you can produce the “goods.”

now for the facts: a pap test (aka: pap smear …
although that just sounds messy and gross) checks for changes in the
cells of your cervix. the cervix is the lower part of the uterus (womb)
that opens into the vagina. the test can tell if you have an infection,
abnormal (unhealthy) cervical cells, or cervical cancer.

if you haven’t gone lately (or at all), GO!

…
and this goes for guys, too! go in for your yearly exams. doctors can
really help catch maladies early, so take advantage of that.

spread the word — recommend to your friends. hopefully this will inspire them to get checked out and save them from cancer!

2. i blamed my parents’ divorce on myself.
after my dad retired, my parents couldn’t decide where to settle. we
drove around from place to place so they could find a job. we were all
frustrated, but no one more than my mom. she asked me one day what i
thought about leaving daddy. my brain didn’t realize what she meant —
seriously, i thought she meant drive ahead or something — so i said
“whatever makes you happy, mommy.” a few weeks later, she really did
leave him. i thought it was because i “gave my permission.” it took me
YEARS to get past that.

3. i’m a bit of a work-a-holic.
ever since i can remember, i’ve thrown myself into whatever i’m doing.
if i start it, i can’t stop until it’s complete. this trait served me
well during my high school and college years, but has put me in a place
to be taken advantage of in my current career. my problem is that i
fully realize it, but don’t pull back on the reins.

4. i didn’t have to pay for college, but it was far from free.
this is where my work-a-holic ways paid off in spades. i acquired
several prestigious, competitive scholarships for my writing and
through phi theta kappa. i also worked as an RA for two years, dealing
with drug raids, room inspections, yard fights and an occasional
shooting. my “piece of paper” is filled with my blood, sweat and tears
— i consider it my greatest accomplishment.
 
5. i have my own creative business.
it’s a side thing, and it’s definitely not as grand as it sounds, but i
enjoy it. (unless i don’t get paid. i’m about two seconds away from
small claims court with this one.)

6. i met my husband at a midnight movie in college.
he just sat down and put his arm around me. strangely enough, it wasn’t
weird (and it wasn’t as creepy as it sounds). we ended up making fun of
the movie — scary movie 3 — all night. we’ve been inseparable ever
since.

7. i have anxiety attacks about the mailbox.
bills scare me, ’nuff said.  

8. i fractured my arm when i fell off a toilet.
it’s not what you think! i was a fairly tall 12-year old, but not
enough so to see out of the bathroom window. i stood on top of the
toilet (lid closed, thankfully) to see out. my friends were playing
outside and i excitedly headed off to join them. long story short, my
legs got twisted and i crashed on the floor … on my arm.

9. my front tooth isn’t real.
gosh, it just sounds like i’m accident-prone! when i was 8, i decided i
could make breakfast myself. i climbed on the counter to pull the
toaster from the top shelf. i tugged too hard and went flying backward,
with toaster in tow. we couldn’t get a dentist to see me for a few
days, so i had to go to school — and even get family pictures taken —
with part of my tooth missing. *ugh*

10. i wrote an entire magazine’s worth of content by myself.
and actually, i’m on my fourth time doing this. 56 pages of wedding
registry greatness … the schtick gets old after awhile, but my job
could be worse …

11. captain hook terrifies me. (as promised, see below for pictures)
during a field trip to euro disney (now disneyland paris), our class
was taking pictures with “peter pan.” an off-to-the-side hook jumps in
the picture, attempting to battle pan. thinking i was going to get
stabbed or something, i took off for my mom … playing into his
persona, hook ran after me for at least 30 feet, shouting in french.
yeah, ’cause that won’t screw a kid up at all!

12. the greatest man i’ve ever known is my father.
i don’t think i could ever say anything that could do this statement justice.

13. my mind stays in overdrive.
i always have a handful of projects in the works at the same time.
today, for example, i plan on: shooting a video short; designing my
family cookbook cover; writing a few blog entries; scanning pictures
for Christmas gifts; creating a friend’s birthday gift and cooking
dinner for husband. busy = best … i feel inefficient otherwise.

14. i love to laugh — at just about anything.
now-a-days, i giggle when husband says “penis” randomly. (admit it, you’re chuckling now)