Carrying on in the grand tradition of mystery blog posters—one that dates back to, well, last week—I present this totally mysterious slice of blogging greatness.
Who it is is anyone's guess. In fact, it's so secretive, even I don't know who it is! Help me figure this one out, will ya? Leave your thoughts as to who, and why ...
And in the words of BigShow: I promise that one of them is the mystery blogger. ooooooh.
You're beautiful, everything I've ever wanted. You light up with my touch and have stayed faithful for almost two years. We have traveled the world together—your company was the best, and our times together, amazing. The qualities you posses have surpassed any other I have known. I mean, sure, you have yore shortcomings, but I've always been willing to accept them.
Until now.
I know it sounds harsh, but I just can't do it anymore. I feel trapped. You demand more than I can handle right now. Don't get me wrong, I love you, but I simply can't be with you anymore.
If you're afraid I'm making a rash and sudden decision, I'm not. I've thought about this for hours, trying to convince myself that I'm wrong. In a different time and place, and under the proper circumstances, we could make this work. For now, I'm just not able to support myself AND you. Honey, you're just too expensive!
I promise you'll find someone else. In fact, I think I've found someone that would be perfect for you. It's the least I could do, after all. Strange, right? Even stranger: he's coming by tomorrow at 11 to pick you up. I'll admit it, I'm a cheap jerk, but he made me an offer I couldn't refuse: a whopping $450 for you! It's better than you lying around the house doing nothing, right?
Now go, enjoy your new man. He may not love you as much as I have, but at least you can leave, knowing I did my best.
To my beautiful iPhone 3G, I will miss you so much.
It's not you, my love. It's me.
Now, YOU choose the mystery blogger:
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